The past two weeks in Mark Study we've studied the passage where Jesus tells the parable of the soils and then goes on to explain them. This week we split into 4 groups and examined the soils, what each one really meant. And at the end we were challenged to think about the time that we've been in Mark Study since the middle of January and decide which soil we have been with the "seeds" ("word") that we have been given.
I shut my eyes and began to think about it. [As someone who has grown up in the church, I have all these pretenses going into Mark Study. False? I don't know. But it sure makes you think.] I guess I always assumed that I was the fourth soil. The good soil. I take the word and accept it. But that's not all it says. It says that you must bear fruit, to spread that word. What have I done about this? Nothing.
In the beginning of Mark Study, at a conference we call January Jumpstart, I was excited about Mark Study. I didn't always enjoy it, because it's quite frustrating at times. I felt like I was taking our definiton of faith (persistent action involving risk based on the belief in the power of Jesus) and putting it into action. I wanted to take risks, because I've always been so comfortable in my own little bubble. I mean, why did God send me to UCLA when it wasn't even one of my choices? Was that a risk? I don't know. I accepted that definition and believe it. Since that day, this is how I think about the word faith. I applied for leadership because it was a risk. I led Bible Study because it was a risk.
But lately, the last month or so, I have dreaded Mark Study. I just see it as a place where people are so closed-minded and don't even consider other people's views. Where I just get so frustrated because the answer is never completely clear. But it sure does make you think. I have taken the "seed" and accepted it. But did I bear fruit? Not that I can see. I have been a combination of the rocky soil and the soil with the thorns. Sometimes I take the seeds with joy, but if there is tribulation, it falls away. Sometimes I hear the word and other things, things of this world choke the words. Yes, I am not the fourth soil, I am one of the lesser. One of the ones that Jesus does not want us to be.
But I want to be the good soil. I want to bear fruit. I want the seeds to take roots in me. I will strive to be the good soil. And I know that I can only do it with the power of Jesus.
Labels: God, IV, Mark Study, self analysis
