Welcome to my face

So a couple weekends ago (seems like forever ago) I went to Catalina Island for what we call Fall Con. The topic was "I believe in Jesus as my Lord & Savior" and what that really means. Not the shallow meaning that most people would assume. We talked about how faith/belief requires compassion. We talked about how Lord gives authority, how it denotes who is in charge of your life. We talked about how Savior shows power and how Jesus has the power to make changes now. Well, what I need Jesus to change in my life is how I view myself. My practical step? Not wear make-up this week. And let me tell you, this is a difficult task. Now, I don't usually wear a copious amount of make-up, but I at least wear some. You know, my essential foundation and mascara. Also as part of this, I'm not straightening my hair, and attempting to wear it down (because I don't like my hair how it is). I'm not sure what I'm going to get out of this, but I'm hoping something. I hope that Jesus reveals something to me through this experience. And, as I will most likely go back to wearing my usual make-up, I hope that this wasn't a lost cause. But, hey, here's what I look like. Here's my face, I'm not hiding anything.

Incredibly Busy

So, I've realized in the last couple of weeks that I don't see people (unless they're in my classes or they come to see me at work). I've become a hermit. I go to class, I go to work, I go to IV things. But as soon as I get back to my room, it's into recluse mode. I just get so exhausted these days that I feel like I just need time to recuperate. But I'm not really sure how much time is required. The fact that my days are so filled makes the days go by quickly. I can't believe I have midterms next week (3 of them, that is...). The other day at small group, our ice-breaker was to explain our day in a 5 word, grammatically-correct sentence. Mine was "I wasn't in the dorms." Sad, I know, but it explained my day perfectly. I went from class to a meeting to work to dinner and then to small group. I just don't know where I'm going to find the time to invest in people and build relationships.

Update

Well, classes have begun.
I am officially a sophomore. (yay wise fools!)
Which is weird, because I find myself giving people advice on classes and ways to get to class and where to eat and everything else.

I had to pack away my life again. I'm not a fan. I can't wait til I can settle somewhere and not have to pack up everything all the time. Eventually...

I wasn't able to read all those books, sadly. But I did finish:
How to Stay Christian in College - J. Budziszewski
I Once Was Lost - Don Everts & Doug Schaupp
Who You Are When No One is Looking - Bill Hybels
Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller

and hopefully I'll be able to read the rest in the near future.

I miss my family immensely, but that was to be expected.

Leadership is exhausting. But so rewarding.

I got a job at a coffee house on campus. (Perfect job... Fuels the habit. hahaha). I'll start sometime in the next week I think.

I think that's all for now...

Footprints

(two blogs in one day... amazing I know)

So one of my junior highers brought up this poem/story in Bible study today...

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

It made me think about how amazing this is. The times when you feel like God isn't there, the times you feel the most seperated from God... that's when He's the most present. He's carrying you. Not just holding your hand, not just helping you walk.

So, the past week I've been reading "How to Stay Christian in College." Sounds corny, I know. I wasn't expecting much from it. But it turned out to be a really good book, it clears stuff up about life as a Christian in general. It has helped me realize (along with reflection throughout the summer of the past 5 years of my life) the times where I felt completely seperate from God. And it was my choice, my decision. But, He brought me back, somehow I realized His presence, He set me down and we began to walk together again.

first year.

Well, I'm done. It's over and it's quite bittersweet. I want to be home, but I want to be with my friends at school (Needless to say, I get to spend an extra week with them at the beautiful Catalina Island...). I don't think it has hit me yet that I have to go 3 months without seeing these people (since I live so far away). But I'm looking forward to this summer, I think it will be a time of change and growth...

(I think I'm parentheses happy today)

Do you ever...

After studying for a long period of time, do you ever find yourself like an inch away from the page you're writing on? I do. And then I think, wow, my eyes are really close to this page. Oops. haha. Then I sit back up, and about 20 minutes later I'm back ridiculously close to the page. Maybe it's time to sleep...

Studying

I need to learn how to study. I can sit in front of my book for hours and not get anything out of it. That's just not productive. Seeing as I never really studied in high school, this has been a new thing to me. Well, hopefully I'm getting better. But, it's so hard. I have 26 hours before my midterm and a third of a quarter's information to learn. Lovely, right?

A Long Weekend

So I just finished up a very long weekend of intense manuscript study in Mark. As our group usually consists of about 40 people, this group of 20 was much more intimate and I feel as if I got so much more out of it. Maybe it's the fact that we spent 4+ hours on each passage?

Some things I learned:

• I need to be vulnerable with other people and be willing to share my story (This came from the story of the Bleeding Woman)
• I need to acknowledge that Jesus' power is not limited to my understanding (When Jesus walked on water)
• I need to believe that Jesus will provide (When Jesus fed the 5000)
• I cannot blame sin on other people or my interactions with those people, because it comes from my heart (From the story about defilement)
• I need transformation that only God can perform (From both the Bleeding Woman and the Defilement)

It's amazing how much you can just skip over when normally reading these passages. There is so much more to each of these stories than I thought before. So, spend a little more time, read a little deeper into the text and see what God is trying to tell you.

Sometimes

Sometimes the education system is a little ridiculous. When such specific guidelines are laid out for an essay, is it really allowing us to learn how to structure an essay for ourselves? When we're required to turn our brainstorming in a certain format, is this teaching us to think for ourselves? I don't know, but sometimes, I think it's just a little bit ridiculous.

It makes me happy

It makes me happy when I watch commercials during March Madness and see places at UCLA on them. Like Pauley or the bookstore. It's just cool, because I can say, I've been there! haha.